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"BOW DOWN BEFORE THE GOD OF DEATH!" ― Yogg, about to rape a random HS tryhard

Yogg-Saron, Hope's End, Blessed by Brode, slayer of Spikes, His Random Holiness, Praised by Saltlords, RNJesus, N'Zoth's way cooler and more successful brother, Fanboy Tearjerker and the savior of Hearthstone is easily the best and coolest card in the game, and the only one that did and does not actually deserve a nerf. Of course, Blizzard being Blizzard, this meant Yogg was actually doomed to go to the chopping block long before he even set foot in this damn game.

Now, however, Yogg is back with a vengeance, and he will taint every Wild game for years to come. That is one way to purge Spikes from a game mode forever.

History[]

Long ago, in 2016, Blizzard brought us Whispers of the Old Gods, as well as the dreaded rotations and the promise that Standard would, from now on, be properly balanced.

People soon caught on to Blizzard's bullshit, but one thing shut them all up. Despite the many bad, greedy things happening, one particular Old God kept Saltlords happy and Fanboys crying, and that was obviously Yogg.

Predicted by Hearthpwn as a terrible, insta-dust card, Yogg soon shocked everyone by picking up Hearthstone, and cranking up the RNG to 11. What he ended up doing was decide winners by himself, disregard the skill of both players, and effectively prove this game requires no skill to win, making saltlords more than happy to have Yogg around.

Everything was going fine until Yogg started going into tournaments, and inevitably letting spectators know that their precious game required no skill at all. There was such an intense outcry that Blizzard for once decided to listen to the community, and tried to turn Yogg into shit.

Yes, the nerf was harsh, but the real Yogg fans stuck with him, and together, they intend to unleash hell into every game they can. Whether one wins or loses is irrelevant, since it will be up to Yogg to decide who is worthy of a victory, and the enemy player will immediately be stripped of the illusions of any skill or accomplishment.

In 2020, Blizzard felt that enough was enough. The unfairness was too much, and the fanboys were getting too uppity. So the madmen actually did the unthinkable; they unsealed the great RNJesus once more so he could wreak havoc and roam freely in Wild forever, shedding endless tears of salt on friend and foe alike, and shouting the one message Hearthstone needs to hear: "Your skill doesn't matter, you cunt!"

"Strategy"[]

Does the enemy think he has beaten you? Is he spamming emotes like a complete faggot? Does he believe not a single combination of cards can topple his skillful plays so far? Perhaps you should remind him that he still has one entity to suck off before he can win and move on to the next game. Drop Yogg on his ass and watch the shitflipping spectacle of RNG stealing his minions, restoring your health and building you a board bigger than his was in the first place.

Think about it: You'd have already lost, and you'd probably concede now. Instead, you get a chance to come back and deservingly beat the piece of trash in front of you. If you win and your opponent adds you to rage, make sure to print it and upload it here. You'll be making the world an even better place.

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