Aggro

The kind of joy only an aggro victory can achieve

Aggressive decks or aggro are unholy, often unintended abominations created by the HS community that more often than not end up dominating, and then raping the meta. Created by retards for retards, it is Blizzard's way of being inclusive to the less mentally fortunate populace of the world.

Aggro decks are rightfully the most nerfed and hated ones in the game's history, as Blizzard continuously figured out they'd never be taken seriously until they shook off their inbred fanbase. Unfortunately, since even by Hearthstone standards they are considered mindnumbingly braindead and uninteractive, faggots are always willing to push for aggro even if it is unviable in the current meta.

The "players"

Time and time again, aggro players have shocked and embarrassed the human population with their sheer stupidity. They are primarily to blame for most of Hearthstone's worst cancers, and we should not expect them to be able to voice their thoughts coherently.

Apart from retards and prepubescent children bored out of their mind, aggro players are usually the scum of the earth, ruining entire expansion launches if that means earning 30 gold. Aware of this fact, many respectable members of the community have decided to rope them into submission, provoking inbred spasms in the mouth-breathers who exploit these decks and cannot handle slow victories.

Recently, aggrotards have pushed for skill revisionism, desperately trying to validate their shitty mental capacity by blatantly lying about their archetype.

Strategy

Vomit low cost minions, ignore your opponent's threats unless they play aggro too, use the few spells you put in your deck to finish off the opponent.

Alternatively: Have everything removed, be outhealed by your opponent, concede on turn 7 if they are still alive.

As you can see, aggro is a very complex playstyle with very unique paths for deckbuilding.

Skillz

Of course, after years of being rightfully considered the blandest idiots in the whole HS community, aggrotards eventually got tired of being called out on this, and decided to storm every HS forum to share their tales. Most of the time, their excuses were of being Free2Play who couldn't afford decent decks, or lacking the time to play longer games. Alternatively, some decided to proudly announce they play aggro, praising the skill it takes to pick the right 1-drop to play on turn 1. It is always rather embarrassing when such different perspectives are shared.

Since midrange is also a thing, and Blizzard has made aggro much more expensive recently, everyone soon caught on to their bullshit, and only the proudest retards defend this playstyle now.

Trivia

• In Argentina, it is legal to kill aggro players
• The worst mass murderers in history played exclusively aggro
• A few trips to a psychiatrist can turn an aggrotard into an upstanding HS player. Find which member of their family molested them when they were young!
• Roping effectively triggers aggrotards beyond the point of no return and it is an encouraged way to deal with this scum

Healthy game-design we can thank aggro for

• Face Hunter
• Zoolock
• "Tempo" Mage
• Secret Mage
• Odd Paladin and the remaining Odd decks
• Vicious Fledgling
• Jade Idol
• Pirates
• Murlocs